The year was 1993 and I found myself as a Mom in suburban America. We lived in Fort Lee, NJ, which was like Little Tokyo at the time. I was able to find all my familiar things—sushi, the little markets and all the things I had known in Japan. We lived in a townhouse complex of 10 units, 8 of which were rented by Japanese families. We had a 3 story, 3 bathroom townhouse, with a 2 car garage, and more room then we knew what to do with! The complex had a pool and we had so much fun there.
It was a good time—the economy was strong and Japanese companies were buying into America. I could go to a market and buy anything Japanese or American that I wanted. Our son, Yusuke attended the prestigious Palisades pre-school, and had classmates that included the “rich and famous.” We attended birthday parties on yachts that crossed the Hudson River or in mansions just north of us. Our daughter, Emi was growing, and soon would be attending the pre-school of our dreams. I made so many friends at this time and found myself in the position of being the liaison between the Japanese Moms and the rest of the community. I translated for those who needed it, and enjoyed being a bridge between the two cultures. Noboru enjoyed the market boom and we both found sushi restaurants and Karaoke bars springing up all over. We could buy steak, raw fish and seaweed anywhere in that town.
Life was good and we celebrated all the holidays in our “huge” home while Yusuke entered first grade and Emi entered pre-school. And then we received notice that Noboru was to return to the home office in Tokyo. How would our family survive another move?
A few garage sales and donations later, we left our worldly goods and departed for Japan. Although we had lived in Osaka before, now we settled in Tokyo. We found Tokyo had changed a lot in our absence; mostly it had gotten more modern. We moved into a 2 bedroom place with a large kitchen/dining room. Although it was a big change from NJ, we liked the area and settled in quickly. The kids started school; I made many new friends and began to teach again. Being a working mother was possible because we had friends we could count on when we needed to. Our home was also open to our friends and this was a peaceful and safe feeling to have.
Except that that was when our son, Yusuke began to experience “being different” in Japan. He looked much like me, and was called “foreigner,” “alien” and other names. Luckily, he was a strong kid and fought himself out of more situations than I can imagine. Our family motto became, “Never give up or give in,” and that helped us all through it.
As the years passed, we became very involved in the community and schools, including the PTA. Yusuke passed the exam for private High School, and made new friends while challenging the rigorous curriculum of his new school. In Japan, then and now, entering a private school from Junior High is a prestigious and sought after way to a future path to a good job. Life was good again, and we were secure knowing that our son was surely going to do what was the expected and noble thing—get a good job and continue the advancement of the “Japanese machine.” Noboru was doing well, the economy was soaring, money was flowing and we had entered into what was to be called the “bubble era” in Japan.
That was when Noboru got the notice that he was to be sent to America again, this time as the President of the New York Office! Congratulations were in order, champagne flowed, and happiness abounded. And then I thought: Moving again? This time the move would have to work around schools, puberty and a language barrier.
Mutiny in my household! The kids were livid! There were not going, no matter what! How could they leave their friends and stable life for a new life in a country they could barely remember? We had been living for eight years in Tokyo, the longest stretch in any one place. Noboru’s assignment was immediate and he left for New York, we would follow once the kid’s school terms completed. Two monsters had moved into my house and I was alone, trying to convince them that it would be great and they would love their new schools.
With all sorts of promises made about “the new world,” we moved to upper Bergen County, NJ, to a town called Closter. Our house was huge, the neighborhood was beautiful and Noboru had a chauffeur to take him to and from work. I got a Volvo station wagon. I had forgotten that in America you have to take your kids to and from school. In Tokyo, kids go to school on foot or by train or bus. My kids entered ESL classes since they didn’t have the English skills to enter mainstream classrooms. Since that is what I teach, with a lot of hard work and a little luck, they did pretty well in academics. Yusuke found friends and a life on the soccer team, and Emi found hers in the classroom through the kindness of other students.
Noboru was the president of the company and we had many opportunities to attend parties and events. One that I particularly remember is cruising on the Forbes Yacht around Manhattan with Mr. Toyoda (CEO of Toyota Motor Company), and some others who were just as important and elite. Very cool!
Life was good and things were going so well and we enjoyed entertaining friends, guests and bunches of kids in our large house. Until the day that I received the phone call from a friend in Japan, who was calling to make sure we were all right. “Don’t you know about the company?” she asked.
Our company had declared bankruptcy, an unheard of thing in Japan. Japanese companies just don’t do that. They are made to last forever, or at least that is what everyone believed. Noboru had spent his whole career with this company, moving again and again for this company. How could this news be true?
It was true and the Japanese economy began its biggest decline in history. Our company may have been the first, but many others followed it into bankruptcy. There was panic among the employees in both Japan and New York. Noboru had to return to Tokyo to face the guillotine and we were notified that our rent would no longer be paid, and we should return to Tokyo as soon as possible. Yusuke was a junior in High School and Emi was in 8th grade and I just couldn’t do that to them again.
So we moved into a small house down the street and literally carried what would fit into the little house. We gathered friends to help us move and then get rid of whatever we couldn’t take. Noboru left for Japan and we continued on in our little house down the block until both kids could graduate from their current schools. And then we returned to Japan to make some plans.
My husband had lost his job but never his ambition and diligence. He began working with some former colleagues in finance and investments. We were crazy with worry but determined to go on and not give up. Yusuke entered university in Tokyo and Emi entered High School. I began working part-time teaching in companies. We had survived and life began to settle down again. Tokyo was familiar to us, we had lived there before for so long, and so, adjusting wasn’t an issue. The failing economy produced a domino effect of bank mergers, and company mergers and more bankruptcies were in the headlines each day. There were more homeless people than ever before and suicides increased drastically at this time.
Time passed, and Noboru’s health began to fail. He was hospitalized and diagnosed with heart muscle disease. It was serious but could be controlled with medicine, rest, a good diet and reduced stress. He began a routine to try to maintain these things and began to do much better.
Yusuke graduated University and got a job with Merrill Lynch. Being bi-lingual finally paid off for him and I nearly fainted to hear him thank me for taking him to America where he learned English! Noboru was happy and proud that his son had followed him into the securities business. They enjoyed spending hours discussing the economy and politics. Emi entered University to study International Business, and Yusuke bought a sports car and moved into an apartment close to his office.
Before Emi graduated, she landed a job at L’Oreal Japan. Working for a cosmetics firm seemed ideal for her since she had done some modeling in college. She was excited about the job and thankful for her experience in America---and I felt like I must be dreaming!
At this time, my husband’s health began to fail again and his regimen of trying to balance his work load and stress just didn’t seem to be working any longer. On Christmas Eve in 2008, I took him to the emergency room. They diagnosed an enlarged heart due to muscle failure. This is an incurable condition and the only possible treatment is a heart transplant, but Japan doesn’t do organ transplants. Also, due to his age, it probably would have been impossible. He went into a coma and died six weeks later. We were devastated, but thankful that he was no longer in pain and had not lingered in a coma. Family and friends helped us through the formalities and we decided that the only way to go was forward.
Going forward is a broad term that I use loosely. The night Noboru died, Yusuke, Emi and I spent in bed, holding hands and crying. Sometimes we moved forward and sometimes we took steps backwards. Yusuke helped me deal with the legalities of Noboru’s company and we sold the condo in Osaka, and bought a small place in Tokyo. Luckily both of my children had significant others who helped them through this sad time.
Yusuke married Mayu and the wedding was held in Hawaii. My mother was able to attend and we had a fantastic time. We brought along a picture of Noboru, and the poignancy of the experience was appreciated by the guests.
Emi married Yoshiki in the mountain resort of Karuisawa the following year. It was a beautiful wedding in a beautiful place. I really missed Noboru then, and I remembered how much he had been looking forward to attending his children’s weddings.
We are a happy family now and I gained a great daughter and son along the way. I have two grandchildren---a girl and a boy with another due in August. My work is fulfilling and I have friends to be with and relax. The in-laws on both sides have become friends and I feel lucky to have so many people around me that care and support me.
I came from Massapequa Park and I moved halfway around the world to Tokyo. I will always be here, in Japan, for this is my home. I am so happy to be in touch with my classmates from long ago and to tell you what my life has been like. I hope to attend the Look Who’s Turning 60 birthday party next June!
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