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| In China in 2010. You may notice my hair is very RED! A last minute dye job resulted in a startling color that fascinated the Chinese women, who were all eager to touch it! |
In 2010, I was on a cruise through the Locks of the Yangtze River in China. I saw the people who lived along the water’s edge, people who lived the most minimal life style, yet they were happy and fulfilled. The culture in China was one of peace, tranquility and simplicity. I felt like I was exactly where I belonged. I took a deep breath, and pinched myself. This trip was a celebration, an affirmation of sorts, that I was successfully fighting the cancer that resulted in a double mastectomy in 2009. But I have gotten ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.
I moved to Massapequa from Queens Village when I was 11. My Dad had our house built on the property at the corner of Euclid and Charles in Massapequa Park. My parents wanted to give me and my sister, Dorothy, a better life in “the country.” We were eager to embrace our new life, but my Catholic school background pointed out all the ways that I was different. I turned to music and began taking organ lessons, which would continue until I was 18. At 16, I was hired by Family Melody Center in the Sunrise Mall to give lessons. Some of you may remember me playing Christmas songs on the organ in the middle of the mall during the holidays.
For me, High School was not something I looked forward to, but something that I had to do. At McKenna, I met Wanda Chapman, and she is still my oldest and dearest friend. At Berner, Evelyn Cappadona, Wanda and I were the Three Musketeers. We did everything together, including getting jobs at White’s Department Store. We always hung out together, going to All American, or just hanging out at one of our houses.
After High School, I got a job at Gem Electronics in Farmingdale, keeping the journals for 18 stores throughout NY, NJ, and CT as well as doing the weekly payroll for over 100 employees. Eventually, I got a job with SW Anderson Sales, and they paid for me to go to SUNY Farmingdale in the evenings to learn the newly emerging technology of computers.
I had been dating a guy for a few years and we eventually got engaged, but it didn’t last long. After we broke up, my friends Evelyn Cappadona, Wendy Reissman and the Bushman twins took me to Friars Pub on Merrick Road in Amityville to cheer me up. It was there that I met my husband Doug. We married a little more than a year later and we have been together now for 38 years.
My husband is an Electrical Contractor with his own business, so soon I quit my job to become his secretary and bookkeeper. I also continued to teach organ lessons, as it really is a passion of mine. Through the years, I have taught over 45 students, both children and adults.
In 1978, Doug and I and another couple from Massapequa bought a bar in Blue Point. It was called Reefers (in the nautical sense, of course!), and for two years it consumed our lives. We learned a lot while running the bar: ordering liquor, hiring bands to perform, and being part-time bartender, part-time bouncer. We had some great times at Reefers until New Wave music came on the scene. We renovated, added a disco ball, plush couches and fancy pillows, and we even changed the name to Rafters. At that point we started to lose our shirts, and we ended up closing up for good on Halloween night.
My son was born on July 4, 1981, and my daughter followed on April 3, 1985. We were supportive parents who were immersed in the kid’s activities, and gave them every chance to excel. We spent many hours watching dance recitals, Martial Arts matches, and football games. Today, my daughter manages a dancewear store and my son is a Network Engineer in Manhattan. Both our children are married, and we look forward to the day when we will welcome grandchildren.
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| Me, Doug, our daughter Vanessa and son Paul in 2010 |
My world changed in March of 2009 when I discovered a lump in my breast while showering. Tests revealed that it was Cancer bordering Stage 4, and I was faced with decisions that I never wanted to make. I had one week to decide if Doctors would remove one or both of my breasts. Since I planned on having reconstructive surgery at the same time as the breast removal, it was a lot to think about. I decided to have them both removed and reconstructed at the same time, a surgery that lasted for 16 hours. My family was my support and inspiration during my recovery. Attitude has a lot to do with how you recover, and boy did I have attitude. I was determined that nothing was getting me down, and I would win that battle. Here I am 5 years later, and I am finally able to stop taking my medication, as I am now considered Cancer free!
It is funny how life takes you through its trials and tribulations. During the darkest days of my illness, I met a new group of friends who have become such a big part of my life now. It was in September of 2009 and I had just had a tough day. My husband and I decided to get a burger at a local pub. A band set up and all I could think was that I didn’t need to hear a loud group screaming in my ear. We asked for the check and while we were waiting, the band started up. The lead singer was a girl who started with some of my favorite songs by Janis Joplin. I was immediately hooked and called my daughter to meet us at the pub to hear this band. We ended up closing the place and becoming friends with The Pamela Betti Band, who have since been inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame. Over the last 5 years we have come to know them not just as musicians, but as friends. They have helped me through some dark times and become a very big part of our lives.
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| Doug and I in Paris in February, 2014 |
Since our trip to China, we have traveled to Spain, France, Italy, the Panama Canal, Alaska and Paris. We have a trip to Greece planned for 2015. Each of these trips is a reminder to me that my story hasn’t yet reached its end and there is so much ahead of me.
I truly believe that in the grand scheme of things, life has already paved the road that we are meant to take, and we meet people along the way just to help us get to where we need to be in our lives. After all these years, I still keep in contact with a handful of Berner alumni, and I am so grateful for their friendship and support. Wanda Chapman, Evelyn Cappadona, Barbara Baron, Bob Russo and Aaron Block have all made a huge difference in my life thus far. I look forward to the next chapter of my life and I can’t wait to see where the road leads!
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| May 2013, My son Paul, his wife Michele, Doug, me, my daughter Vanessa, her husband Steve, and Wanda Chapman |
written by Carolyn Hammer through email interviews with Donna Cerbone Marcley
